I Feel Wicked!

I got a call from my sweet sis Adie:
"We have two extra tickets to Wicked for this Friday. Would you like to go?"
What? a free ticket to Wicked?. . .Is Elphaba Green? (That is what I wish I had said if I had been familiar with the play, but since I had never seen it before I said, "Wow, let me check!" definitely not as clever, but as Alli says, I must maintain blogger integrity.

Needless to say I found myself driving to LA on Friday for a chance to see the much acclaimed Wicked.

We all met out at the Pantages for the big event. Here is a shot of Barbara, Dad and Rob (their chaperone--doesn't this shot look like he is?). Notice Dad is very serious and keeping his hands to himself.

As always, Scott and Adie looked great. I have decided that Scott should run for office. It seems that everywhere we go, Scott seems to know someone. When were taking a group shot some women jumped into the shot, we were all bewildered and come to find out she knew Scott. Then, when sitting in the theater, he knew the people sitting in front of us. However, I have decided that I won't be impressed until he can introduce me to Bono. . . Work on that one for me will you big brother?

When entering the theater I wanted to record the moment. "Hey dad, will you take a picture of Rob and I."

"Sure!" dad said, after handing him the camera and pointing out which button to push (my dad gets exasperated when it comes to technology) Rob and I sat where we could get the stage in the background. Just as dad was about to take the picture, a petite usher approached us,"Um please put your camera away, and don't take any photographs."

"Who says?" my dad said in a voice that was as intimidating as he could muster. The usher looked at him with wide eyes and Barbara put her head in her lap. Once everyone began to laugh, the usher shuffled away nervously. My dad did this soley for Barbara. He likes to tease her and keep her on her toes. She doesn't know quite how to read him yet, and he enjoys her expressions.

"Oh just take the picture, just make sure he isn't looking" says the lady behind us. She flashes us her camera showing her support. We agree feeling that we have the right to disobey this ridiculously unfair rule enforced by this enemy army of vested ushers. I look up the aisle to try to locate the usher and encourage my dad to take the picture. "Go ahead dad, just turn the flash off an take it." My dad looks at me with a quizzical expression that says, "Huh?"
"Oh yea, let me do it." I hand the camera back to my dad and look up the aisle for the usher.
"Okay dad, take the picture!"

SNAP, great shot! almost immediately,
"Um excuse me, I warned you not to take any photos. . . will you please follow me to check in your camera?" Where did that guy come from? Did he drop down from the ceiling? He was smug! I didn't like his attitude.

"He didn't warn us," my brother mumbles in such a way that only I can hear, as he stands to go back to his seat. He motions that I should follow. Standing there looking at my family for support, they stare back at me with vacant expressions.

"Here, I will erase the picture," I flash him my camera showing the dark fuzzy picture was gone.

"Chu need to follow me. Come now." I look back at my brother who is now back to his seat. He is obviously civilly disobeying. Yea, it is easy for him, it isn't his camera. I look back at my family, still silent. I look at the lady behind us, her once supportive voice was now squelched by the vested soldier.

Should I chose to disobey the petite usher and exercise my rights? or should meekly follow? HMMMMM I could see myself being hauled out of the theater by the manager, with a "No show for YOU!" So humbly, I followed the usher, my head held high as I was escorted out of the theater. "I thought we couldn't take pictures with the flash," I lied, trying to excuse my defiance.

"There are signs all over warning you!" he says as he points to a sign on the wall. He was really hung up on that word "Warn!" ewwwww scarey! He didn't intimidate me with his rhetoric, Actually the sign is asking us and rather politely, I quote, "Please do not take pictures inside the theater." I think about telling him this and then decide against it.

"I was probably admiring the art deco interior when we passed that sign and didn't notice it," I said nonchalantly. He was unimpressed by my knowledge of the Pantages interior, or figured I didn't know what I was talking about, and continued steadfastly to his destination.

This guy must have been new. You can always tell the people that are new. They can't think for themselves. I just wanted a break, to return back to my seat, couldn't he pardon me? . . .No, not the new guy.

"I don't want to miss the first act, will this take a long time?"

"It won't take long," he says as he scurries through the empty lobby.

Once I get to the counter to fill out my claim slip, a man turns around to leave and says,"Oh they got you too huh!" I smile and nod yes as we both share a common understanding of the injustice of it all. After I fill out the slip to turn in my camera, I snap a picture of the guy at the counter, the one who is confiscating my camera, before I hand it over to him.

"Hey, can I get a picture of you? I want to show my dad, The Big Guy, who it was that took my camera." With a nervous smile, he claims he is the middle man, he isn't responsible. Um hummmm, your either for us or against us, I think as I take my yellow copy of the claim check and return to the theater.

As I walked down the aisle, back to my seat, I see the theater was lit by a about a hundred flashing digital camera LCD screens, and I think to myself, those vested ushers sure have their work cut out for them. My once felt irritation turned to a type of giddy empathy-this job for him is like the laundry, no matter how hard he works at it, it's never done--as I passed the petite usher I smiled.

If I Could I Would. . .

So I was cleaning my kitchen for the third time today. . .you know, the usual wiping the counters, the kitchen table, putting away clutter, rinsing and placing the dishes in the dishwasher and I thought, wouldn't it be amazingly awesome if I could close up my kitchen like I do my dishwasher, place a cup of cleaning agent in the door, push a few buttons and then come back in an hour or so after I've had lunch with my friends, to open the door to a sparkling clean and sanitized kitchen. Wouldn't that be wonderful? If I could I would. . .

If I could I would make every summer month July.
If I could I would erase my memory of all Seinfeld episodes so that I can experience them again for the first time. (Especially the one where Kramer finds the Merv Griffin set in the trash)
If I could I would bring back Bugs Bunny, Road Runner and Mr. Magoo cartoons.
If I could I would sing a solo in sacrament meeting. I would sing my heart out, if I could.
If I could I would abolish chain letter emails.
If I could I would live at the beach and swim at sunset every night.
If I could I would live in a different country for one month every year.
If I could I would cook like my sisters-in-law Linda, Claire and Adie.
If I could I would get a massage every day.
If I could I would look into my mom's eyes and tell her I love her.
If I could I would make bread bi-weekly. (Cindy will help me with that one.)
If I could I would cool off October and November in So CA.
If I could I would live near my best besty, blood sister, Alli.
If I could I would play the guitar right now.
If I could I would speak Spanish fluently.
If I could I would go back to the late 90s when apple stock was like $7 a share and buy it instead of the apple G3 computer we purchased.
If I could I would buy my dad a completely restored Model A and while I am at it. . .
If I could I would get my self a 1966 289 convertible mustang with pony interior.
If I could I would have a garden in which every plant produced a flower for my house or fruit for my kitchen.
If I could I would have fresh flowers, in every room, everyday.
If I could I would be really good at tennis so I could humble Allison. (Doesn't she look like she needs to be humbled?)
If I could I would paint portraits of each of my children with rich, vivid oils.
If I could, and I want to, I would celebrate every moment for the joy it brings and leave all the rest behind.

Santa Cruz Island

If I could I would be here tomorrow!

If you could, what would you do. . .
Don't leave me hangin' dream it, share it, have some fun.

Matters Of The Heart.

an angiogram of a healthy heart

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Sometimes I suffer from "analysis paralysis" which isn't good, especially if it is about something that brings you down. Another word for that is "stinkin' thinkin'" But it is good to be reflective and prayerful. I think we all come to points in our lives where we need to grow, we need to be stretched and challenged, tested even. Those times are meant to teach us and we can get through them, eventually, with Heavenly Fathers help. Those are the times when we really turn to our Heavenly Father and learn to depend upon him. But I have learned that the real work begins with us.

Last September, while exercising, I almost passed out which led to a stress test, which lead to an abnormal ekg reading, which lead to a consult with a cardiologist, which lead to an appointment for an angiogram, which lead to an immense amount of stress. While standing in line at Kaiser to get my perscription of aspirin and nytroglycerine. . . did you get that? Nytroglycerine. . . that is that little white tablet that you take to stave off a heart attack. . .I know. . . CRAZY! I tried to keep myself together while I watched people stare at the TV. Jerry Springer was on and two women were having a cat fight over the same man. Yucky! When I got to the little glass window to pick up my perscription, the clerk asked, "Have you taken these meds before?"

"No,"

"Would you like to speak to the pharmacist?"

"Yes," can you tell I was a little numb.

Once the pharmacist arrived she asked the same questions, and when I like responded she went into detail. "Keep these tablets in your purse where they can be with you at all times. If you feel a heart attack coming on, take a pill and put it immediately under your tongue. Every second counts."

"What exactly does a heart attack feel like?"

"Pressure in your chest, nausea, shooting pain down your left arm."

While looking at her through that wall of glass, I wanted to tell her that all this stuff about carrying nytroglycerine tablets in my purse was not doing my heart any good. Hello! Don't you want me to stay CALM!!!!! I didn't like the earnest way she was telling me, like she really believed something was going to happen. . . I wanted her to say, oh you won't be needing these, but keep them around just in case.

Nothing like being told that you may have a heart attack to get you to start thinking about your life. I knew that I was relatively healthy, my cholesterol was normal, I exercise, and eat right. I started thinking about some of the emotional issues that I have been having with family and some of the life changes that I have experienced which have brought stress. I wanted to look more deeply and with the guidance of a good friend started looking into the mind body connection and how emotions can affect our health. This is what I found.
The things that can make the heart sick are the following:

upsetting family problems
difficulty forgiving, including self,
feelings of rejection
hurtful relationships
withholding love
feelings of resentment or hurt
not feeling approval from others
violating laws of love knowingly or unknowingly

Some of the scenarios rang true to me. I had been carrying burdens, anger, resentment in connection to events have occured over the past few years. Perhaps I had a right to my feelings, perhaps mistakes made did cause pain, but it was my choice to hold on to them. A wise friend told me once, with regards to issues of expectations that weren't being met "I needed to free myself of unkind and hurt feelings as well as expectations that others couldn't fulfill. I needed to forgive them and love them in their shortcomings." At the time I didn't fully understand the power of that advice. I didn't understand that power to change my feelings was soley my responsibility. That people will be who they are--imperfect individuals doing the best they can. We have no control over them, only ourselves.

Since then, and since my angiogram, which came back perfectly fine by the way, and I might add,was quite a bit easier than getting your teeth cleaned--The last time I got my teeth cleaned I feel asleep, and I still haven't decided if it was because she was so gentle or because I finally had some peace and quiet with out my kids--but I digress, I have been attempting to rid myself of hurt feelings or expectations that bring me pain. I was promised that if I did, the heavens would be opened up to me, and I would have peace. I believe that it is so. I was reading the other day and was reminded of this same advice: "There is NO WAY we can see things through another person's eyes! Who gave us license to judge or blame? Our only assignment is NOT to judge or blame, but to FORGIVE. Where others are concerned the attitude or situation just IS." We can't change it, but we can change the way we perceive it, and we can forgive it and go forward. I learned that if we don't it will only end up hurting us. I think that is why Heavenly Father wants us to forgive and even commands us to forgive. Because that is the way to peace and happiness. All of our Fathers laws are for our protection. If we can let go of the pain and love people unconditionally, then we can experience real joy and so can they because they are free to live and love in like manner.

Here is another quote from my reading: "In his book Return From Tomorrow George G. Ritchie asks: Do you want to affiliate with the Christ in people or the Adversary in people? Which ever one you choose, it is necessary for you to find those characteristics--either Christ's or the Adversary's--in each person you meet. . . and in, I might add, your Self."

I love that!

Election Day 2008

"Yes We Can!"
Cesar Chavez and borrowed by Barack Obama in his acceptance speech
Yes WE can!
I love our country and our democracy. I love the freedom that we all have to express ourselves and be apart of that democratic process that says the real power is in the people. Whether we are for prop 8 or not, we all, every American, have the right and privilege to express our belief and to freely and lawfully fight for our cause. I am grateful to be an American and to know that I am protected by a government that has checks and balances that protect the people. I am grateful that the law protects those same people who have opposing view points to mine. I feel especially grateful to have been able to be a part of the yes on 8 campaign, to have participated in our democracy on a very personal level. To have joined with all churches in the community to work together for our cause and our belief. I am grateful for the many discussions that I have had with loved ones regarding the varying view points on the issue. It solidified my belief and made more firm my stance that although I do not judge another's behavior or their choices, I cannot condone it by voting in favor of same sex marriage.

I think that the Prop 8 experience was wonderful on many levels. First of all there were many discussion about choices:

"Why would a woman want to marry a woman?" with some giggling,

"People have a right to choose their partners for themselves, we may disagree, but we don't judge them for their choices. We know that Heavenly Father said that marriage should be between a man and a woman. So we are voting yes on Prop 8."

"But that is weird for a man to marry a man or a woman to marry a woman."

"Jesus wants us to love all men and women even if we don't agree or understand their choices. Even though they make different choices than us, it does not make them bad people."

These were very important discussion for me to have with my children and I am grateful for the opportunity to teach them. I don't want my children to judge or feel they are superior to another because of differing beliefs or actions, but I do want them to know what the standard is for them to follow and that although Heavenly Father does love all His children, He has laws that are irrevocable.

My children volunteered their time with me on Saturdays and on evenings. When waving signs, I reminded them that they were following the prophet, who asked us to volunteer our time for the effort. Too, I was able to teach them about tolerance and acceptance of another's view point. Some people obviously disagreed with us and communicated their feelings in an assortment of ways. I instructed the girls that the opposition has their right to express themselves but that we will just smile and continue to wave. We will choose not to engage back in a negative way. It was a lesson for them about appropriate behavior, now can we do it in our own home?:)

When going out on Saturdays early, Mitch the Kid was always a bit, how shall I say it, grouchy? (yes that about sums it up!) But his attitude always changed while participating in the activity. Last Saturday, he was especially grouchy and even asked, "how can you live with yourself?" for asking him to get out of bed because he was so tired. I felt fine about it. He had made a commitment before and he needed to fulfill it. Mitchell, Lily and I went around houses and hung voting reminders on the doors in our ward boundaries. I had Mitchell drive and Lily and I ran to the doors. After a short time Mitchell apologized for his attitude and even said that it was fun and a good activity to do together. (I think he was catching on!) A little while later he wanted to hang some of the fliers on the doors. We finished in about 45 min. We were all feeling pretty good and Mitchell said, "I am glad I came. It feels good to be apart of something bigger than yourself." (He Got It!). I am so glad that I gently reminded him every 5 min when we were leaving, right up to five minutes before we left.

All in All, it was worth my time and energy. I feel proud to have been apart of the movement and make a stand. I feel grateful for the lessons it taught my children. And just like Mitchell says, it feels good to be a part of something bigger than myself.

I love our country! I love its citizens. We need to band together and build on our great nations heritage of freedom, hope, courage to fight for the common good. Barack Obama stated yesterday, "The Strength of our Nation is not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals of democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope." I love that. I feel great hope. We are a great people and a great nation!

Yes We Can!

As a post script to the above essay, I may not agree with the way the opposition behaves, I may not like the way they protest, or their tactics, however, as long as they do it lawfully they can protest, that is what makes our country great. However, we should not let their choices affect ours. Like my friend Allison counseled her son, " don't get down with the turkeys, fly with the eagles!"

Jack O Lantern!

First you get a pumpkin
big and round and fat
then you cut the top off
to make a little hat
then you take the seeds out
cut mouth and nose and eyes
that's they way you make a
Halloween Surprise!

We had the Slemboskis over Thursday after Prop 8 sign waving
for annual pumpkin carving.

The kids are getting pretty good with the gutting the pumpkin. That was completely done by the time that Tami and I got back from a recital for charity

We helped the kids with the knives and assisted with the carving,

But, we spent so much time talking about prop 8, we forgot to take pictures of the whole process.

Luckily we did capture the final product.
Lesson for parents: Moderation in all things, even Prop 8.