Is it me, or are doctors starting to sound like those commercials that we see on TV for drugs that pharmaceutical companies peddle. You know the kind: A woman in her sixties is riding her bike with her grandson. She suffers from arthritis but when she started taking ________, she feels great. Now she can knit, play thumb wars, ride a horse, play the harp, garden, rock climb, but, then come the side effects: "if you take this you may suffer from dry mouth, phantom itching, dandruff, enlarged nostrils, club foot, excessive nose hair, scaly skin, an over bite, and on and on and on. Do you recognize the commercial?
While the music rolls on, the commercial nauseatingly spews rapid fire side effects, cataloging every possible scenario to protect the consumers health;), or more importantly the drug company from possible law suit. Come on people, we know what is going on, don't we. That is why we don't really listen to that part of the commercial anymore. They are right up there with the warnings we get on kids toys, "This Big Wheel is not to be ridden on the freeway or on any thoroughfares where traffic may be present." Really? Do we really need to be reminded of this? Can we not save the ink and lower the cost of the toy a penny or two? I find it funny, I think we all do, and a little sad at the same time, that money has to be wasted in product development and marketing to warn the general public of things that we know by our common sense, to be true. This is what we like to call TMI (Too Much Information.) We are inundated with information, whether it be in commercials, the internet, facebook, blogs and now the doctors office!
First let me set this up. My eldest is rapidly approaching his 19th birthday and in our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a young man has the option of cho
osing to go on a mission at age 19. In order to get this done he must do a series of tests, doctors visits, dental visits which include wisdom teeth extraction. He has been reticent about the latter. After a series of discussions in which Mitchell flatly refused getting it done, I came to find out that he had a friend who had his wisdom teeth extracted and suffered a great deal of pain. We calmed his fears and let him know that the pain was minimal and that he would be fine, and he was until. . .
Dr D., a fine looking doctor in his mid thirties, bursts into the room in his white coat, blonde hair and perfectly polished teeth. He shakes our hands vigorously and says, "Well, let's see what we have here. Your coming in for your wisdom teeth."
"Yes," Mitchell responds quietly
"Do you have any pain or discomfort?"
"No."
"All right, let's look at the x-rays." This is when he begins pointing to the x-ray and telling what he sees. He points to each quadrant of the x-ray showing the teeth that need to be extracted. "Oh I see your missing one on the lower left quadrant. That's good because the bottom can be more painful. What do we have here?" Dr. D. raises an eyebrow and shifts into higher gear. "This lesion, this su
bstance, this form that we see here may be of some concern, or it could be just some phantom abstraction that shows up on the film, or it could be something, but you don't have any pain or discomfort? then it is nothing to worry about, what we would need to do is biopsy it and see if it is something, but it could be nothing, but I would watch it, don't worry about it."
This is where I speak up and say, "Huh?" only I do it in a more lady like manner, you know, like, "What is it your describing?" But really my brain and my emotional state is,"huh?"
Again he goes into what it could be, "a lesion, a cyst, a growth, it could be benign, could be normal, could be abnormal, could be normally abnormal bone structure, because your face is not parallel, If we were to cut your face in half, you would see that it is not parallel." Now Mitchell is looking at me and we are both going, "huh?"
"I wouldn't worry about it, but you may want to talk to your dentist and watch it an
d pay attention to see if you are getting any pain or discomfort."
Right about then I started to get some pain and discomfort.
After looking at older x-rays from Dr. Gray, and seeing the abnormality has not changed, he assured us it was probably nothing and that we should just watch it, not really be concerned, but pay attention to it. . . and on and on and on.
"Okay, lets take a look here," Dr. D. says as he pulls on his rubber gloves, snap, snap!! Dr. D. inspects Mitchell's mouth, assures me that he sees nothing out of the ordinary here, and then returns to the x-ray.
"So this is what I am going to do," I figured he would give a brief explanation, I was wrong, "I will chip away at the bone in order to get the tooth out. It is here that I will use my mallet and chisel." I look wide-eyed at Mitchell, who sits in the chair and seems unaffected. Phew!
I didn't know anything about a m
allet and chisel when I got my wisdom teeth taken out back in 1984? Is this some new procedure? Is this some throw back to the dark ages of medicine? Is this for real? As Dr. D. continued to explain the process of extraction, I began to wonder if it was
really necessary for my son to have his wisdom teeth taken out.
"You will be feeling a lot of pain. The pain stems from cutting away the bone to get the teeth extracted. There will be a lot of swelling."
"Yes, but the pain isn't that bad right? It doesn't last that long. . ."I reassure Mitchell.
"Well I like to tell the truth. I don't want you getting any false impressions. It will be painful." He is right about that, he does like to be truthful about EVERYTHING.
"Sometimes we may need to cut the tooth into two parts. This way we can take the tooth out with out chipping too much bone. It is the cutting into the bone that causes so much pain later on. We even cut the tooth into four pieces. We do what ever we need to do to get the job done." He was talking about my son's mouth like it was some destruction site
Dr D. continues informing us of possible problems that can occur during the procedure. "When entering into the lower quadrant, there is a nerve that runs down the jaw and this is what gives your chin and cheek feeling and your tongue the sense of taste. While making the incision to extract the tooth, this nerve can become severed. It can cause numbness for a few hours or permanently, so sometimes I will go in the inside of the jaw, but
sometimes the nerve can be there too." I am left wondering if the only possible outcome is for my son to suffer permanent nerve damage.
All the while Dr. D. is smiling and affirming that yes these things are normal. " So do you have any questions for me?"
"No, no, no questions here. You've done an excellent job describing EVERY thing. I especially liked your description of the mallet and chisel," I say smiling, but really protesting.
Yes I protest! TMI
Maybe I am old fashioned, but I don't want to hear about all the tools and possible problem scenarios. Give me one of the old doctors who says "bring 'er in and let's get 'er done!" I have more confidence in them. I have no reason to think that this doctor is incompetent, he was referred to me by my orthodontist, who is exceptional, but all his attention to possible problems lends me an uneasy feeling.
In the end I reviewed what I KNEW about wisdom teeth extraction:
"Mitchell, what will happen is that you will come into the office with wisdom teeth, fall asleep, walk out with out them, and then take it easy for a couple of days as your mouth heals. You will have discomfort for a few days. Is this correct Dr. D?"
"Yes that is correct."
"Then when can we get him in here and get 'er done?"
When Mitchell was little, his favorite book was Run Away Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. I had that book memorized, which doesn't say much because it is pretty short, whether we were snuggled in bed, or as we would wheel around in the stroller, he would turn the pages and I would recite the story of a little bunny who wanted to run away from his mama. I remember not really liking the idea as a young mother. I remember questioning "why would that little bunny want to run away from his mom?" and I didn't want Mitchell to get any ideas. . . But now as a mother of a nineteen year old, now as a mother who has had some life experiences, I understand more completely.
If you become a rock on the mountain high above me,”
If you become a rock on the mountain high above me,”
“If you become a bird and fly away from me,” said his mother, 
“If you go flying on a flying trapeze,” said his mother,
“Have a carrot,” said the mother bunny."
Mitchell and his Buddies