A Virtuous Woman: Proverbs 31:10 - 31

Judith (Judy) Ann Johnson Stowell

May 1, 1938 - October 7, 2007

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good all the days of her life." My mom’s whole world

was my dad. This picture shows her adoringly looking up at him. This is only the second time that they met, My mom describes the meeting of my dad as love at first sight. You can tell it was when you look at thi

s picture. She confessed to me that she was very shy when it came to boys and that she was never one to plot and scheme, but when it came to my dad she got right to work figuring out a way to spend some time with him. This particular picture was her first attempt. She used to say to me that she could sit on the corner all afternoon with my dad and it would be fine with her. Or she could justwatch him work on his car and feel completely fulfilled. I asked my dad what some of my moms hobbies were when she was a young married woman, my dad's reply was me, me and more me. Luckily, for my dad's sake, as my mother matured she developed other hobbies to divert her attention.

My parents were very affectionate with each other during my childhood and into my adulthood. Often I would see my mom sitting on my dad's lap kissing him or looking at him tenderly. I was grateful to seem this demonstrative expression of love right up until the she passed

away as my dad sat loving holding her hand.

"She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy." My mother was always willing to lend a helping hand. As for our family, she never stopped serving. Always reaching out and helping us. Expressing her love by serving and when ever thanked my mom would always say, It’s a blessing. And it truly was to her. My mom never, ever did anything she didn’t want to

do. If she didn’t want to do it or couldn’t, she would tell you. So

everytime she came and began helping organize, wash, clean, and vacuum, your home, every time she offered to rub shoulders, heads, hands, or feet, every time she washed, waxed or vacuumed your car, everytime she

cleaned your toaster, washed behind the breadmaker, or polished your

tables every time she scrubbed your oven or painted your walls, it was something she WANTED TO DO! In reference to her willfulness, if she was painting your walls, sometimes it wasn't the color you wanted but she did paint your walls.

My mother had healing hands. She was constantly rubbing, comforting, soothing and caressing her loved ones. Up to the last conscious moments of her life if your hand was in hers, she would caress it

soothingly. If your face was near hears, she was touching it lovingly. My mothers main goal was to give comfort to those around her. My daugh ter Emma was pondering the service my mother rendered the first time that she was in my parents home with out her grandmother there. Upon my asking the kids t

o rise from in front of the TV where they were resting, Emma quietly pulled me aside and shared that whenever she was watching TV, grandma would always give her a pillow to comfort her. She recognized that simple service that my mother rendered to her grand daughter, and we both mourned the knowledge that she would never be there to do that again. But the example was set. Her legacy will continue.

My mother had a knack for bringin g people into her life and making them feel loved and apart of her family. All of my friends feel a closeness to my mom stating that she made them feel they had a home away from their own home. My dear friend Julie expressed it best when she said that my mom had a way of making you feel that

you were the most important person in her life. I know that to be true. I think that we all feel that we were mom’s favorite. When ever we drove up to moms house my mom would hear us arrive and come to the door to greet us with a big smile and her arms out stretched . Always an enthusiastic welcoming

"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." My mother directly taught us many thin

gs. She taught us how to eat soup correctly. She taught us how to hold a fork and a knife, she taught us how to make a bed, iron a shirt, wash the kitc hen floors and the list goes on. This is true of her sons as well. Besides this she taught me many "Life Lessons." She taught me about being courteous, to always do my best and never quit. She taught me to be kind to others and often quoted "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." I am sure it was the same in your homes as well. My mother not only quoted it but she lived it. Especially in the final years of her life. I never remember her gossiping or backbiting and she always found good in other people. I never remember my mom complaining about others or if she did it was not done in front of the children This example left an indelible impression upon me. Too when ever I asked my mom about a certain outfit of a piece of furniture and I found her with a wide eyed expression and her lips sealed tight, I knew, with a smile that she didn't like it.

Another lesson that my mother taught me was to think about someone else when I am feeling down. One time in particular we were heading over to my Grandmother Stowell’s one bedroom condo in Long Beach. I remember complaining that I didn’t want to go and that it was boring at grandmas. There was nothing to do but play in the alley and you can never touch anything at grandma’s house. My mom told me that this visit was to make grandma happy and that I should think of my grandma and not myself and to think about what I can do for grandma while I am there. I remember earnestly trying to change my attitude and to think of my Grandma Stowell that day. That lesson was passed on to my boys who accompanied me every week as I cared for my mom. She loved her grand children so much. Her face would light up when she saw them. Before each visit, I would remind them how happy they made grandma. I asked Will how he felt about that ability they had to make someone so happy that they forgot their pain and their discomfort. He said with a thoughtful face, "It felt pretty good." The last two weeks of her life she was in a care facility to help manage her pain, there wasn't a lot of room at the care center but my boys were there and would often interrupt their play to come up to hold grandma's hand and kiss her. They were so good that day as they stayed with me, comforting grandma for almost 10 hours. What a great lesson for them to learn.

Still another lesson my mom taught me to consider the other persons point of view whenever I had a problem or a complaint. I remember talking to my mom a lot about life and friends and she always took on the other persons perspective. I remember at times wishing she would just listen and say oh yea h, your right, that was a mean thing to do. Instead she would try to help me understand why the problem occurred. I appreciate that lesson to consider the other persons perspective. It has helped me through out my life.

"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness" my mom grew up not really having a ho

me. Her parents were divorced rather early in her life and so she went to live with her aunt and while living in that home she often felt misplaced. It was very imp

ortant to my mom to create a beautiful home for her family. My parents home is beautiful. It has a warmth and welcoming.

It is beautiful, but not pretentious. It is clean but not sterile, it is a journey through the li fe that my parents have spent together. She collected beautiful things to surround herself with that are laden with memory. Many times when people come into my moms home they comment on the beautiful antiques that they have to which my mom a lways responded, "Oh this is just junk!", referring to the fact that she got many of her things at junk stores and consignment stores. When she got it home she would make it her treasure by antiquing it, staining it, beating it with chains to give it that weathered look. Whether it be a dining table that she cut down to create a coffee table, a desk she stained and antiqued, a bedroom set she stripped and waxed, her home was full of the work of her hands. She transformed junk into beautiful, unique pieces of furniture.

My mom kept our home orderly and clean. When I called a childhood friend, Kari, to tell her about my sweet moms passing she said, "Judy was the cleanest person I know." She knew because when she came to stay with us in Chicago for a month, my m om put her to work with the rest of us. She had to earn her keep just like we did:)

My mom had great taste and design sense. She had this ability to make every space more beautiful by arranging things just perfectly. Often times Richard and I would go somewhere and my mom would come to our home to watch our children. When we came home, the furniture would have been moved making the space seem more open or pleasing to the eye. Again in reference to her willfullness: one time we came home to see that she moved an upright piano that we have, across the room by herself because she felt it should be on the opposite wall. That piano is still there.

She had the ability to make simple things beautiful. S he lived beautifully on little money. My dad always said that my mom had champagne taste on a beer budget. She made it work on that beer budget. She would go into my garden, which had very few flowers, and come inside with various greens and some flowers and make beautiful arrangements for our enjoyment. Adrienne said that she was amazed at how my mother could make a simple slice of toast look so appetizing and beautiful just by arrangement of the butter and jam. Presentation was everything to my mom. It signifies her appreciation for the experience. Even if it was just a piece of toast. If she was going to give it to you, she wanted it to be beautiful and delicious.

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hand; and let her own works praise her in the gates." I honor you mom for living life to the fullest, making everything so much fun. My mom was playing in the ocean the very summer before she passed. The previous May, she went down water slides with grandkids in Dallas Tx. I honor you mother for the life you lead, for the

choices you made, for the service you gave. I honor you mom for the way you were stripped of envy, of pride, of a desire for worldly things. I honor you for focusing on that which is seminal to our existence upon the earth: loving, "doing the right things." keeping covenants, and serving others. I honor you mother for your pure heart, you had nothing but love to express to all around you. You were patient and long suffering, meek and lowly, you are loved by all who know you and as my cousin Andee stated, you are truly an original.