On Your Mark. . .Get Set. . . Go. . .Disneyland!

I love Disneyland. What's not to like. Disneyland is like the celestial kingdom of theme parks: its clean, people are always smiling, you're there with your family, it is the happiest place on earth. . .or is it?

When I was a kid, maybe 8 - 9 years old, my parents would drop me off and I would run around Disneyland all day with my cousins who were no more than a year older. We would run from ride to ride, often bumping people on the way dodging strollers, racing people to be first in line. It was a marathon.

I loved Disneyland so much, I would dream about it. I had a reoccurring dream when I was a kid that I was stuck in the Pirates of the Caribbean. It was one of those dreams that you loved but hated. It was frightening but exciting at the same time. I would get stuck in the ride, why, I never knew because it would happen again and again. For reasons unknown to me, I would have to spend the night and negotiate my way around the town and caves all by myself. I loved it but hated it at the same time. This dream was right up there with the reoccurring dream of having to spend the night in May Co. Alone, traversing the different departments through the night, and finding my only sustenance to be the candy counter where I had my choice of chocolate covered raisins, snow caps, turtles, honey comb and Swedish berries, I was both frightened and in heaven.

Today, when we go to Disneyland, we run. . . we run the minute we step out of the car to get to the tram, we run from the tram to get to the gate, this is where we stop, take a time out and evaluate where we want to go first. (This is a negotiation process comparable to the Cuban missile crisis of which I will discuss later. Once the decision is made, we pick up and run to the first destination. Lily and Emma on Mousetrap as they affectionately call it.

Why run you ask, because, once we get to the ride, we wait, and wait, and wait and wait. This has got to be one of the greatest lessons on taking turns any toddler/gradeschooler will ever experience. In the world of a little guy, especially our little guy, you get what you want, when you want it, and when you don't, well, you can resort to the ever fruitful, temper tantrum, but in Disneyland, there is no negotiation of the waiting process, everyone has to take his turn.Monster Mash outside of Haunted Mansion.

The waiting time can be a bit challenging. The line moves slowly, the spaces are cramped, the Asian person behind you, whose cultural relation to space is quite different than yours, is standing right on top of you. Yes, it is challenging. When my kids were babies, I knew how to negotiate the wait of the lines. I depended heavily upon the baby switch pass. Because my kids were born two years apart, I could get two baby switch passes for each ride, which pretty much meant that we never had to stand in the entire line. The baby switch pass is comparable to the fast pass for every single ride with no restrictions. For this reason, parents can get the optimal use of Disneyland when you have babies--a perfect rebuttal to birth control.

However, for me, those days are over.

Me Will and Owen on Autopia

Believe me, I tried to get the baby switch pass at Space Mountain for O boe last week, "May I have a baby switch pass for Space Mountain?" I ask confidently, my baby is in his stroller, I am wheeling him around Disneyland like he doesn't have two legs to walk on.

The gate keeper of Space Mountain looks official in her 20th century space uniform in the primary colors of 1 - 2 - 3 red, yellow and blue. She looks down at my four year old, 3 1/2ft, 47 lb boy in his stroller and says, "In order to get a baby switch pass, you have to have a baby."

She said it Just-- Like-- That!

The nerve of her!

What was she thinking, Did she think that I was trying to take advantage?, pilfer a free fast pass for my family?, milk the system for what it is worth?. . .well she has another think coming. . .

Pondering. . .

I was tempted to keep O's in his cast after his foot was already healed, although his leg was atrophying, because the only thing better than a baby switch pass is a wheelchair pass that allows the invalid to ride w/ up to 6 people besides himself. . .

Reflecting. . .Confessing. . .okay I admit it, I was trying to take advantage.

Well, now that my children are all able to ride most of the rides, the days of baby switch passes are long gone. We have to stand in line like everyone else. The first line we had to stand in was the stroller line.The kids were not happy about waiting in line for a stroller

The challenge for the 21st century mother is how to keep her children occupied during the wait.

Goodies Galore!

We had ample supply of junk food and treats. We played eye spy, peek a chou(which involves rock, paper, scissors, and a cheek pinch for the loser until the winner gets two out of three and can slap the losers cheeks after he has pinched them into vermilion.)

Owen and Lily during rock, paper, scissors

Will and Emma after the game and she gets her rewards

Finally, Slide, which is a game that involves clapping for speed. All these games helped the time speed up and dampened the whining that is always ever present at Disneyland (why is there whining at Disneyland, as parent I truly don't know. I think it is one of those mysteries of heaven that will be revealed, perhaps it involves the law of agency and contradiction. Curious minds want to know.)

Will and Os w/ license in hand

Despite the crowds, most lines were only 45 min.

Will in our first ride, "Venerable Whales Mouth"

The kids had two days to get their fill of Disneyland before their passes expired. This is where real negotiations take place. When we are negotiating what we want to go on and where we should go first, Stakes are high, tempers begin to flare, emotions exhibit themselves, drama surfaces. All the players are there to lay their cards on the table: There is the cool headed, logical (LIly), the passionate, fiery (Emma), the angry, stubborn (Will) and the sensitive, emotional (Owen). This dichotomy of personalities times two plays out daily in negotiations in my home. Often their can be fireworks. IT is a delicate balance to work with or a nuclear explosion can devastate the whole experience.

"What ever you guys want to do. Just talk about it and decide?" I attempt to be the mediator allowing everyone to express their desires and negotiate the terms, but when the whining escalates, when the democratic majority raises up and begins to squash the rights of the individual over It's a Small World, I quickly become the communist dictator, and quiet the whining with a threat of which I could never really follow through. . ."If you guys don't stop whining we are going to go home right this instant." Boy was that my mother or what?

Darth Vadar after the chosen one.

And I force the other three to go to the ride which is last on their list. "We are a team," I say, "not one without the other,and sometimes we have to sacrifice for the team." to which the other three, slump their shoulders, roll their eyes and stomp to the next ride.

Emma, Lily and Will on Orange Julious