HELP!

Remember how I said that I NOW like baseball?

After 30 some odd years of having a laissez faire attitude towards the game. Comme ci comme ca as the French would say: it was there, I knew it was there, I didn't mind it being there and sometimes I would visit it but pretty much didn't care about the outcome, unless of course the Giants were playing and then I did care because their performance deeply affected Richard's happiness. When the Angels beat the Giants in the world series, our family was in mourning for weeks, But that is another blog entry all together.

But now, NOW I love the game. I love getting him dressed up in his uniform every game day, the stripped pants, the game socks, the jersey, the hat, the belt and the cleats. I mean look at how adorable my little, tough guy is. Doesn't he look great. I love it, the problem is . . . my son doesn't.

What do I do?

When he was little, he would love hitting the wiffle ball with the bat. He can do it, it is in him to do it, but when it comes to that hardball, all things change. First he was hit smack in the chin, next he as hit, thud in the chest, shortly there after he was hit, crunch in the thigh (I think it was on this day when he was playing catcher) a week later he was beaned, bonk on the back and last week his friend was hit, tink squarely on the helmet and all with the hard ball. It was after seeing this that Will simply stated, I am not batting. I am not going up. NO WAY, NO HOW. He sat out the rest of the game and then didn't get snack. He was disappointed about not getting snack, but really didn't care about sitting out. For him I think it is a matter of survival.

I've tried all kinds of tactics. Once before a game, I talked to him about the ball and how the ball is really afraid of him. I showed him the look on the balls face as it comes whirling at him. I explained how it is really scared of him because it knows that Will can send it out of the ball park. He seemed to get a little fired up, but I think deep down doesn't really believe.

As we prepared for the next practice, Will and I had a conversation. "I don't like baseball. I don't want to go to practice."

"Yes you are. Your team needs you."

"I don't like it. I don't want to go."

"You can't quit. You made a commitment. Your going to keep it. Did you know you were hitting with the bat when you were three years old!"

"I was?" Will says curiously, "I want to see a picture."

"Okay I will show you. You can hit that ball!"

"No I can't." It is at this point that I tell him about how he has to believe in himself and I talk to him about visualizing him catching and hitting the ball in his head.

"Okay Will, close your eyes. Your at the plate, the pitcher pitches the ball in and you can see it clearly and you swing and CRACK! you hit the ball. It is passing the pitcher and then the second baseman! Do you see it?" I say, all proud of myself at my ability to influence my son in a positive way. "Do you see yourself doing it Will?" I say smiling.

"I see a squirrel hitting it!" he says with a big smile on his face giggling.

"You have to see you doing it!" I say, ignoring the silly animated squirrel comment. I repeat a very similar scenario and again ask, "Did you see yourself doing it?" Will is sitting there with his eyes shut head tilted back, face shadowed by the brim of his hat, he is smiling.

"I see a worm hitting it!" he says snickering.

On the way to practice, we have a chat. "Will I know that your scared, but you can't quit because you are. You have to face your fears and go to practice. You have to try your best and not choose to be afraid. I remind him about Cowardly Clyde the horse (a great Bill Peet book) who chose to act brave even though he didn't feel it." He sat uninterested.

When we get there Will drops to his knees and says how he doesn't feel good and can't go to practice. He is whimpering and whining.

"I guess I have to take you home then and put you to bed!" I say hoping that he will straighten himself up and go to practice, but instead, he continues to whine.

"I don't feel good." and this is when I try the tough Sargeant Mom act. (only it isn't an act. It is for real. Often I have to be the sargeant, don't we all! and Sargeant Mom is mean) Will whimpers and I knock the bat on the cement say,"Stand up! Stop Whimpering and go out and play ball. No more whining, time to be brave."

"Okay." he says, afraid of Sargent mom and walks out to play. When he got there a teammate calls him over to play catch and Will joins in. Thank goodness.

The coach thinks we should put Will down to T-ball, I disagree. Although he is young, he is in the right place. I think he just needs more practice.

The next game, Will gets up twice and doesn't even swing at the ball the first time, and then next at bat swings twice half heartedly after I bribe him with a scoop of ice cream for each time he swung at the ball. (my brothers idea, I am trying everything.) Then in the out field, he folds his arms and stands straight legged. If that isn't an act of defiance and A bold statement that I don't want to be here, than I don't know what is.

So after the game Sargeant Mom appears again, he loses his TV, video game privileges and a play date he is supposed to have with one of his team mates. He is very sad, but I say he can earn them back if he tries when he is out there at the next game. I have to see that he is trying to do his best when he is playing. That is all I ask that I see him doing his best.

So help me out. I am drowning here. Do I force my son to stay in a game he is obviously hating at the moment. My feelings are yes, and it is more than just the cute uniform. He made a commitment and he needs to finish it. He needs to understand that his team is counting on him, he needs to face this fear that plagues him and WIN! We are obviously battling, Will and I, and Will is battling with himself and the fear is winning, not good. Our kids face things all through their life that require courage, he needs to learn that he can face his fears and win.

What do I do? Any suggestions, advice, opinions?

UPDATE: Will and I tossed the tennis ball around on Friday and he was very confidant catching, Richard took Will to the batting cages yesterday morning, and at the game, Will had some strong swings at the ball. So obviously exposure and practice helps, but I want to hear your advice and your opinions.

I need a little help here.

Sincerely,

I don't like Sargeant Mom. She's a hard-nosed and demanding.